Girl on top (Ethnic Health Court)
Happy Friday! Time for a Sex & Stats PSA: This weekend, as you’re getting it on with your partner(s), remember that some positions are more dangerous than others. (But that makes them more exciting, right?) Scientists have recently discovered that girl-on-top sex is the most dangerous position for men.
How did they discover this, you ask? Scientists in Campinas, Brazil (a city northwest of Sao Paolo) examined patients from three local hospitals to study penile fractures and their long-term influence on potential future deformities and erectile and voiding issues.
According to “Advances in Urology,” 42 of the 44 “suspicious cases” (95%+ of the total) were confirmed to be penile fractures. The mean age of the men was 34+ years.
The abstract notes that many of the men presented certain, um, signs of fracture:
Half presented the classical triad of audible crack, detumescence (i.e. becoming flaccid), and pain.
(I totally grimaced just typing that. And I’m a woman.)
The researchers found that most penile fractures resulted from heterosexual intercourse, which happened in 66%+ of the subjects. By contrast, homosexual sex brought on fractures only with 9%+ of subjects.
Now, the good stuff: With heterosexual couples, “woman on top” was the most common position, with 14 participants, exactly 50% of the pool. “Doggy style” was the next most common, with a sample size of eight participants, at 28%+. Four subjects reported that the cause of fracture was “unclear,” which sounds like they did a variety of things that, combined, led to the fracture, or were just too embarrassed to report their activities.
The researchers’ hypothesis on why cowgirl is so dangerous boils down to the fact that women can better control the movement, with her body weight resting on the penis. In this position, men are more liable to injury since they can’t control or stop the movement, and they have the potential for greater injury as a result of “wrong-way penetration.”
Let’s review: 42 cases of penile fracture. 28 people/14 couples participating in heterosexual coitus. “Woman on top” has a full 50% chance of resulting in penile fractures.
So go out and have fun, but don’t end up in the emergency room.
Sex & Stats: Where Numbers Come to Bang 