How Many People Experience Same-Sex Attraction (SSA)?

TLC's 'My Husband's Not Gay' (Salon)

TLC’s ‘My Husband’s Not Gay’ (Salon)

With TLC’s special “My Husband’s Not Gay” premiering recently, same-sex attraction (SSA) has come to the forefront of discussion in sexuality. SSA is just what it sounds like: a person is attracted to someone of the same gender, or sex. However, someone with SSA may or may not act on the attraction, and may or may not identify as homosexual, gay or lesbian.

“My Husband’s Not Gay” follows three (hetero) married couples and one single man. All the men featured admit to struggling with SSA. The couples and man reside in Salt Lake City, Utah, and cite their strong Mormon faiths as to why they have a traditional male-female marriage (or, in the case of the single man, why he wants one). Since conservative Christianity, and Mormonism in particular, has traditionally frowned upon homosexuality, these men have made a decision to honor their faith and not their attractions.

I wanted to find some stats on SSA, but couldn’t find any information that weren’t connected to any religious sites (of the “pray the gay away” stripe). Apparently, no university has done a study with people who experience SSA but who do not identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. (Kinsey Institute, get on this.)

 

 

Sex & Stats’ 2014 Year in Review

Beyonce's 'Flawless' performance at the 2014 MTV Video Music Award

Beyoncé’s ‘Flawless’ performance at the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards

We’re almost done with 2014, so let’s take a look back at some important movements in the world of sexuality.

Trans Issues:

After a long time, the trans community has come into the spotlight.

It started back in early March, when Jared Leto took home the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for playing trans woman Rayon in “Dallas Buyers Club.” This was the first time an actor won an Oscar for a trans role, and the second time an actor playing a trans character had been nominated for an Academy Award. (The first time was when Felicity Huffman played a trans woman in 2005’s “Transamerica,” and garnered a Best Actress nomination.) The film also sparked a dialogue about cisgendered actors playing trans roles.

The community has been making strides on a local level as well. This fall, a Texas high school elected its first trans homecoming king.

 

Anal Play:

“We’ve been experimenting with the butt,” a good friend of mine said recently. Though she was referring to what she and her partner were getting up to, this statement also applies to our culture’s newfound fascination with anal play.

Ever since a stripper alleged that Drake enjoyed having his salad tossed, it seems like anal play and rappers  are having a major intersectionality moment. Nicki Minaj has proven this most frequently with her singles “Anaconda” and “Only,” positing herself in the power position of receiving, and greatly enjoying, having her asshole eaten out.

Anal sex also appeared on our broadcast TV screens in mainstream American homes this fall. The “How To Get Away With Murder” pilot and an episode of “The Mindy Project” both featured the formerly taboo act (the former more explicitly than the latter). Bonus points for both featuring interracial couples as well.

 

Feminism:

This is technically a holdover from 2013, but feminism continued to stake its claim in culture this year.

“Harry Potter” actress Emma Watson gave an inspiring speech to the United Nations launching the HeForShe campaign, mobilizing men to do their part for feminism. Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld ended his spring 2015 runway show with models holding up signs painted with feminist slogans. Singer John Legend declared that society would be better if all men were be feminists.

Of course, Beyoncé also had a hand in this. (No surprise there, as her 2013 self-titled album sampled Chiamanda Ngozi Adichie’s now-famous TED talk on feminism.) She started it off strong in January authoring an essay on workplace inequality for “The Shriver Report: A Woman’s Nation Pushes Back From the Brink.”

But that was small compared to what was to come: During the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards, Beyoncé performed “***Flawless” in front of a giant lit marquee, branding herself as a FEMINIST. IN ALL CAPS. It certainly raised consciousness for many people, because Google searches for “feminist” and “beyonce feminist” majorly spiked that week.

 

2014 has been very eventful, and let’s hope society keeps making sex-positive strides forward in 2015. See you next year!

#ThrowbackThursday: “Star Trek” Interracial Kiss

"Star Trek"Interracial Kiss, 1968

“Star Trek”Interracial Kiss, 1968

Science fiction has long welcomed diversity. The genre has frequently depicted cultural and social mores ahead of the time, even in post-World War II prosperity.

On Nov. 22, 1968, “Star Trek” aired the “Plato’s Stepchildren” episode. While the episode plot centers on a race of telekinetic humanoids, it’s most remembered for depicting the first interracial kiss between a Caucasian man and an African-American woman on a scripted American TV show.

Capt. James T. Kirk (William Shatner) and Lt. Nyota Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) kissed while under alien telekinesis (probably to make it more palatable for the audiences) during the episode. Later, Nichols reported that there had been some pushback from viewers, but some were supportive.

It’s safe to say the episode might’ve opened people’s minds in regards to miscegenation. Nichols singled out one such letter from a white Southerner:

“I am totally opposed to the mixing of the races. However, any time a red-blooded American boy like Captain Kirk gets a beautiful dame in his arms that looks like Uhura, he ain’t gonna fight it.”

#ThrowbackThursday: “Seinfeld” Undateable Conversation

"Seinfeld"'s Jerry and Elaine

“Seinfeld”‘s Jerry and Elaine

I’d forgotten about this apropos exchange from one of my favorite shows. It’s from Season 7’s episode “The Wink,” which first aired on Oct. 12, 1995.

Undateable bit from "Seinfeld" episode "The Wink"

Undateable bit from “Seinfeld” episode “The Wink”

Hmm, I have to question his methodology, which he’s not exactly being transparent about…

I wonder if the fictional Jerry Seinfeld would say that those numbers still hold true today, or have changed? Too bad we’ll never know.

Anal Sex on Broadcast TV: “How to Get Away With Murder” and “The Mindy Project”

Danny and Mindy, "The Mindy Project"

Danny and Mindy, “The Mindy Project”

Sex on TV has always been shrouded by the censors. But there’s proof that sexual depictions are finally loosening up–especially with anal sex.

HBO has already tread this territory, with “Entourage” in its seventh season in 2010. Then it blew the door open with the “Girls” pilot in 2012, with Lena Dunham getting anally penetrated by her boyfriend.

Finally, broadcast TV is finally getting on that train. We’ve seen two such depictions in recent weeks.

On ABC, the “How To Get Away With Murder” pilot, which aired on Sept. 25th, showed first-year law student Connor Walsh (Jack Falahee) seducing IT guy Oliver (Conrad Ricamora) to get information about Oliver’s company. We don’t see any penetration, but when Connor flips Oliver over onto his stomach, we know what’s going down.

On Fox, “The Mindy Project” third season’s fourth episode shows couple Mindy (Mindy Kaling) and Danny (Chris Messina) very comfortable in their relationship–so much so that Danny accidentally goes in the back door. Played for laughs, Danny simply says, “I slipped.”

The season’s just getting started, so hopefully we’ll see more sexual adventures from these and other shows very soon!

 

How Many People Have Affairs?

Showtime's "The Affair"

Showtime’s “The Affair”

After watching the pilot of Showtime’s new series “The Affair,” I became curious about finding stats on affairs.

A 2012 “Psychology Today” article cites a study that claims 10-13% of adults cheat, with the percentage peaking at 20% in the 40s age range. It doesn’t break down whether this includes both married and otherwise committed couples, and doesn’t break the data down by gender.

Will you watch “The Affair?”

 

Polygamy: How Common Is It?

Mormonism founder Joseph Smith, Jr. and his polygamist family

Mormonism founder Joseph Smith, Jr. and his polygamist family

“The Talk” host Julie Chen revealed a family secret this week: her maternal grandfather was a polygamist. He had nine wives.

We’ve all seen “Big Love,” the HBO show centering on a Mormon man (Bill Paxton) and his three wives (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin) that ran 2006-2011. The show single-handedly brought a depiction of modern polygamy into premium cable holders’ homes and greater mainstream culture.

How common is polygamy, both in the United States and the world?

Oprah’s “Polygamy in America” report cites experts at putting the US number between 30K and 50K. Another source notes that it’s difficult to find hard numbers on polygamists because plural marriages aren’t documented.

In the greater world, Polygamy Stop estimates another 100K+ people are practice polygamy in Western Europe. The site also notes that polygamy is legal in over 150 countries in Africa, the Middle East and various countries in the Third World (none are specified).

If anything, this news gives Chen quite the conversation-starter for her next dinner party.